How is it that I can't afford to have a regular full time job unless I'm getting paid A LOT? I am not qualified for that sort of nonsense. Sure, I have two bachelor's degrees but so does everyone else and their grandmother. I can't afford to get my masters and the only degree I want is pretty useless in terms of getting a job and making money in the short or long term.
It's not that we're behind on bills or struggling to pay our mortgage. The Air Force provides fantastic benefits for which I am eternally grateful BUT when one (or both) of our computers inevitably dies, we won't be able to run out and get a decent replacement. My personal car is our giant diesel truck and...well... it's fun and all but dear lord. Sometimes I don't want to drive that thing around. Sometimes I want to be able to turn in less than a year. Sometimes I don't want to have to pay $8/gallon (kidding...kind of) for diesel and have my truck only get like 2 MPG (kidding again. mostly). I want to be able to afford a tiny little car payment for a tiny little car. The truck also has this annoying habit of breaking so, like right now, I have no car. Every time I want to spend any money, like on a haircut every 6 months, Tim throws a hissy fit (that may or may not be accurate). I'm tired of being on financial lockdown. And you know what? It's not like I want to buy tons of stuff. I just don't want to have to worry about affording the 'what ifs'. And if my sweetie wants to fix up the house, I want to be able to say, "Sure, sweetie! Let's get that fancy tile. It's so pretty!" Instead of saying, "We'll take the beige linoleum..*sob*"
|I drive this. Or, rather, I drive an older, redder model of this truck.|
|I want to drive this.|
Tim mentioned that we are freaks because we had kids so young. He reminded me that normal young couples focus on their careers and buy a tiny house and then, when they're older, they have kids. Clearly, we did this backward. So now what are couples like us supposed to do? I would be spending half or more of my paycheck on day care and that doesn't even go into the usual costs of commuting.
What about couples who don't have even one good job between them? Does one of them watch the kids and the other work the street corner at night? I feel like we're lucky because Tim is a total badass Air Force machine. He's the kind of guy who could walk into a bakery and get a job without an interview or baking skills because he's just that capable. He exudes, to an irritating extent, a feeling of extreme competence. He walks at the speed of excellence at all times.
There's also the emotional aspect to the whole thing. Tim works hard. I want to help! I want to not be useless. Sure, I do laundry and dishes (most of the time) and keep the kids alive. I am irked by the fact that I am a prime young specimen and I'm not pulling my weight in this household.
What am I doing about it, you say? Well I'm a professionally trained bartender and I've been tirelessly searching for and applying to jobs that will allow me to utilize minimal childcare services (i.e. night shift). I won't make a ton of money but it'll help. I'm also amassing a substantial pile of rejection letters for a few stories I've been submitting to agents. Tim has suggested getting a real job, like teaching, once the kids are both in school. That's still 4 years off so that's not exactly a short term solution.
So there you go. It's Taterz's quest to become a contributing member of society. We'll see how it goes.